How to cast Summon Pizza

So you want to summon a pizza. As far as magic spells go, it's not the hardest one out there, but you do need to know what you're doing.

First, you need to do a ritual of communication. To do this, you need the unique name of the demonic realm from which you are going to summon your pizza. For instance, I use demonic realm 699-4848. Once you have contacted the realm, you can communicate your desires to the demon you have contacted. Remember, the language of various realms may vary slightly, so make sure you're phrasing things correctly.

Once you have communicated with the realm, once of two things will occur. In the first case, you will have to travel to the demonic realm yourself to make in person contact with a demon. In the second case, a demon will be dispatched to your location. Either way, what happens next is the same.

The demon must be appeased with specially prepared pieces of paper. If you fail to do this, the demon will be angry and you will not get your pizza. In fact, that particular realm may refuse to deal with you ever again. Once you have appeased the demon he (or she, but many pizza demons are male) will turn over your pizza. Congraulations, you have successfully cast Summon Pizza.